Install this theme
Dat bacon goin lube up yo’ shit pipes
Brian Cambell

mahjongnookulus:

Morgan Freeman on helium.

Swimming Pools ft. Asshole Fish from Spongebob Squarepants by Kendrick Lamar

pope2chainz:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

white people ordering food at a mexican restaurant

juilan:

Happy cinco de mayo

crunchbuttsteak:

foolserrant:

crunchbuttsteak:

APPLES DO NOT POOP

EVERYONE poops, no exceptions

APPLES.DO.NOT.POOP.

WAIT. WAIT. HOLD UP. WHAT IF THE APPLE IS THE POOP?

crunchbuttsteak:

foolserrant:

crunchbuttsteak:

APPLES DO NOT POOP

EVERYONE poops, no exceptions

APPLES.
DO.
NOT.
POOP.

WAIT. WAIT. HOLD UP. WHAT IF THE APPLE IS THE POOP?

The best part of being a lacrosse goalie are the four inch diameter bruises you get.

I have a tophat

This is important

  • Me:

    So you cell carrier didn't give you a warning text that they were going to disable your account if you didn't make your payment?

  • Zach:

    Well they did but it was like 2 weeks before the due date and I forgot.

  • Me:

    ...

  • Zach:

    If they had done it the day of or the day before that would have been way better.

cheekygeekymonkey:

Extra bonus round on “How to spot an artist” pro-tips:

Rubens: "Skinny may be in. But fat is where it’s at."


Michelangelo: "Nude women are muscularly sculpted men with oddly shaped fruits attached on as breasts."